My Babies... Two very different experiences of birth

Kade & Jyrus

These are my boys...

As my last post explained, my experience of birth 'in the system' with Kade looking back, was pretty typical of most births. Although there is a lot of variation as to what happens in the time frame of any given pregnancy and birth experience, there is obviously the accessability to intervention.

In an age where technology seems to rule, we have become slaves to using what is available purely because it exists despite it not always leading to the greatest of outcomes... but still most accept the outcomes whatever they may be. Although I am not one to conform to the 'norm', with my first pregnancy I was naive to the options and the choices that I had. On one hand I could blame myself for not striving to find something better and on the other I could blame the system, the midwives, the doctors and the 'norm' for not empowering me with choice. I have now come to realise that placing blame on anyone about my individual and past experiences is going to do little in the scheme of things, however what I have learnt from that experience means I am better equipped and further driven to bring back choice and option as a midwife. My experience is only one of many, but if that one is enough to influence many more, then it has definitely been worth it.

I did not realise how powerful and amzing birth can truly be until I was blessed with the opportunity to be with a woman and her family at home as she birthed her baby into this world. I say blessed because it is that opportunity to see how normal and natural birth can be that I have become engulfed in passion and reason.

It was the most compelling and persuasive statement... and yet, not one word was spoken.

Since then, I have fought to make it known that birth can be so much more with so much less and have now experienced first hand, in all its beauty, by birthing my second son, Jyrus, at home.

It was that powerful for me, that an attempt to write a birth story has ended in me feeling like I am taking something away from what I experienced because no words can bring justice and truth to my journey. This journey wasn't just about birth, it was about life, about my family, about wanting something more, about wanting to experience and know myself...

As I write this, I worry about what Kade will one day think when I compare the two experiences... however I don't have to remind myself that Jyrus' birth would not have been what it was without him. It was his beautiful face and presence in a less than beautiful place and occasion that made me seek something greater and brought me to where I am today...

A student midwife with drive and an advocate of birth!

An Introduction...

Well I guess I should probably introduce myself and the reason why I have started this blog.

I am Megan Cooper, or formerly, Megan Castell. Mitchell and I finally decided to tie the knot in February, so thankfully I dropped the dreaded curse of being a Castell... it really wasn't that bad but I am so happy to be a Cooper and finally Mitchs wife after all these years.

A few years ago, I created a blog in an attempt to attract people to my business but as it happened, I became so busy that I never had the opportunity to update or add to it. Its been sitting dormant up until now and it was only the other day that I logged into it and realised that all my priorities and interests had changed since the day that I first created it. So now I have abandoned it for good and in many ways, my business as well, to focus my all to my true passion... Midwifery and everything it encompasses, in its true sense.

I 'fell' into Midwifery and I continue to fall into it. But having said that, I have been nothing but uplifted by the growth and the learning that I have done since I started one of the many uni degrees I have in 2006. Initially I was trudging my way through a double degree in Law and Forensics and although I enjoyed the challenge and the workload, I couldn't see myself staying in for the long haul. The turn of events that moving to Newcastle, NSW brought would really change my perspective and fuel my fire to make me the person that I am today.

Not long after I began the Law degree, I met Mitch and not long after that I fell pregnant with Kade and became victim to the medicalised, mundane and what I now know as the mortifying hands of midwifery 'in the system'. Naive to options or to the true nature of birth, I booked myself into a hospital to experience the full menu of intervention and to live with the constant echo of 'Shut up! Its not that bad!' ringing in my ears until this day (the words the midwife used as I made my way through the door of the delivery suite). The extenuating circumstances surrounding this, I wont even go into because those few words are enough to explain the entire antenatal, birth and postnatal periods for not only me, but my entire family. I remember thinking to myself 'If this is the way birth is, then its not all its cracked up to be...'

Still to this day, I say that the only beautiful thing that came out of the experience was Kade. He is the most amazing and awe-inspiring kid and Im so thankful to call him mine.

Being the person that I am, I knew deep down that there had to be something more out there. I felt completely robbed of any control or empowerment during the whole experience and despite believing in something more, didn't know where to find it. In 2005, Mitch was posted to Adelaide with his job, and after much deliberation about what I was going to do, I withdrawaled from my Law degree and became a stay at home Mum whilst running a small business. I loved being at home but I also wanted to gain a sense of accomplishment. To that point, I had begun 3 uni degrees and had withdrawn from 3. It sounds rather terrible putting it that way, but I never felt secure or comfortable in what I was doing, I couldn't find the purpose for continuing or extending myself in that environment and knew that staying in it was going to result in my feeling failure despite how far I could have potentially gone in anyone of the roles. I know a lot of people a driven by money and power in this day and age, but to me my happiness and a true feeling of 'making a difference, no matter how small was what I strived for.

I remember the day I grabbed the SATAC guide with the intention of applying for nursing... I did end up applying for nursing but it it wasn't at the top of my list, I felt a compulsion, I guess, to apply for Mid... which up until that point, I had no idea existed as a course. It was only shortly after this that I realised where I wanted to be in being at the birth of my niece, Tyrah.

I guess life had finally worked out its plan for me, or rather I had finally worked it out... I wanted to be a midwife.I didn't know where it would take me or the reasons behind the obsession but like nothing else in my life to that point (as far as what I wanted to do or be), things went right and I began Bachelor of Midwifery in 2006 and learnt, what birth truly is.

Now that I know birth, I want to share it with others... my reason for naming this blog Bringing Back Birth...

Hopefully I will empower and help ignite a flame in others to bring birth back to what it really is... beautiful, normal and simple.